The solution to our nation’s ills – SEX

Categories Opinion

Sentiment. We are the only nation that counts that element as a basic need. We are underfed, undernourished, underhoused, undereducated, underemployed and massively underestimated throughout our lives. But it’s the sentiments that matter.

From our underperforming minds housed in underfed bodies housed nowhere but in slums that go up in fire in summers, we protest against screening of movies, comments of superstars, publication of books and women entering temples and Dalits getting a few reserved seats and students being righteous, chinkis raiding our cities, Kashmiris living in their cities and women showing their pedicured feet and knees and everything else that does directly affect our lives.

We are the richest country in the world. We don’t have enough toilets per ass but we have a shitpile of sentiments, each one of us. One would wonder how could a nation of starved half nakeds afford so much of these first worldly ‘sentiments’? How could a nation of half literate monkeys show the middle finger to that much debated but still considered brilliant guy Maslow?

The answer lies in not what we do, but in what we don’t. We are a nation of the young and you know how the young are. You know how the young in the rest of the world are being so shameless, chatting and sexting and getting pregnant all the while. The doctors are literally sitting on a scale and munching on massive hamburgers pushing the marker down – the marker that points at the age of puberty. We are a nation of the young that is getting younger earlier.

So, all this sentiment business starts from there and then pervades our middle aged and the silver haired. Like that minister from Madhya Pradesh who had to feel a woman up at the state function. He, as Gandhi would have said, is not the disease, he is the symptom. In fact, for once, let’s give Gandhi a break and call that guy the illness.

Anyway, as I was saying, you know what we need. We all need it, more of it. The married, the unmarried, the divorced, the gays, the gropers, the flashers, the perverts, the givers, the takers, the rapists, the virgins, the stallions, the erectile dysfunctionals, the priests, the babas, the politicians and the voters.

This country needs more sex. There should be sex bars, sex buffets and sex parlours. This country needs more sex. That’s the only way we can solve this sentiment business. Let’s get this sentiment thing pouring out of our orifices, sweat pores, eyes and noses. Only then we will be able to focus things like housing, education, livelihood and quality of life like normal adult humanbeings do.

That’s the only way we can stop acting like adolescents with hard ons waiting to rage about the next thing that does not really matter.