Here are the terms and conditions. This does not apply to people who had boring campus lives, who never lived in a hostel or were studious students. This list is not comprehensive, not even a serious guide. You think this list misses out on all the fun must do things? Go, make your own. Now, yes, right now, go away. Rest of us, let’s carry on.

1. When you turn right after Delhi school of social work towards Miranda House, stop at the second right turn, wind down the windows and yell “madam miss palriwala, you are the hottest, ever.”

2. Park after the PG women’s hostel, before the Niruala’s. Take the Zoology department entrance into university gardens. Stop at the t-point. Look left. That used to be the darkest spot in the park. Don’t do anything. It’s not dark anymore. But it was. Remember?

3. Enter the garden. Put your ear to the bottle palm tree. Ask your friend to knock. If you have to knock yourself, it’s no fun. Get a friend.

4. Take right towards the anthropology department exit. There is a huge tree in the corner. Any botany students who can say its name? Look up, see it. Like really see it. Sit closest to it. Some sit far out in the garden, ignore those losers.

5. Now that you are strategically placed, look around you. The guy in long hair is a wannabe, the woman exercising will never get in shape, that couple is just so not made for each other. Yep, observe and be nasty.

6. Enough. Get up, walk to the rose garden. Look at the VC’s palace, abuse the good for nothing disaster.

7. Walk up still ahead, to the gate near post office. Make a plan to come back and walk to the ridge and khooni jheel someday. Never actually do.

8. Come out, walk or drive past Patel Chest. Crack all the chest jokes you know as you do.

9. Take a long walk up and down Hudson Lines. Yup, world café, pizza place and what not! We survived on Maurice Nagar police station paratha. These guys get good food, great ambiance and prices that the crowd shows they can afford. Life, you unfair unshampooed dog with ticks!

10. Get out fast. You don’t want to be the student who stayed in the campus too long. Those guys are pursuing phds. You don’t want to be that!