Lost by a hole

Categories Humour

Today morning was an insightful one. As I was wearing my belt, I noticed that I had gone way beyond the last hole. But a man can’t be seen without a belt. That would be the most singular sign that one has rejected civilization in its entirety. Anyway, that brings me to the topic that this little conversation is about – how to eat like a pig and not gain weight.

I have been passing on the secret all around. Worrying. If you worry enough, you will never put on weight. There is a saying in Odia – luna khae haandi, chinta khae gaandi. Literally translates to salt eats the container, worries eat the posterior.

So, the lesson is to worry. Generously. Worry about the job you have, that you may lose one day. Worry about the next job, that you may get if you are lucky. Worry about your parents who are getting older, about yourself who is not getting any younger. Worry about your friends, the ones who have borrowed and may never return, about the ones you borrowed from and will have to pay back. Worry about the shape of your baldness, does it resemble the Indian peninsula or the northern tip of Greenland.

Worry about the lack of subsidy from government for solar energy. Worry if you have read too much of Nietzsche and too little of Voltaire. Worry if the monsters from your childhood are coming back. Worry if you are slowly becoming a monster. Worry if you are talking too much, worry if anyone noticed that you are too silent today. Worry where you will park your next big car. Worry about migratory birds losing direction. Worry about good cheese becoming more expensive. Worry that a beheading pic will pop up on your computer, worry about the Amish buying mobile phones.

Worry that you may fall in love, again and again. Worry that you won’t last long enough. That the world won’t last long enough. Worry that the cats won’t fear the dogs. Worry about the hungry stomachs and your shallow pockets. Worry about the puja in your office and hole in your socks. Worry that the good times won’t last. Worry that the bad times won’t inspire enough poetry.

Worry that you may not be born again and this is all that you got. Worry that you are not doing enough, not living enough.